“Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 NIV

Man, this was a rough week. Starting Sunday morning, I felt heavy, as if I couldn’t get out from under something. I’d felt this way before and wasn’t thrilled to be back in that place, which of course really helped my anxious heart. I tried to be rational and identify the small things that could be contributing to this feeling (and possibly some not-so-simple things):

• I’m a teacher in November, who’s been going non-stop since August, and I’m tired.
• We had a time change, so now it’s dark earlier . . . no bueno.
• Thanksgiving break is next week, but this is a full week of school. Ugh.
• No, wait, go back, tired isn’t the right word. What’s three levels beyond tired? That’s where I’m living.

I did things to try to pull myself away from this feeling – made sure I ate and slept enough, exercised, and even wore a new outfit I felt good in (thank you Loft Outlet). But the feeling remained. And I couldn’t name it.

Desktop Scriptures

I keep a stack of index cards on my desk with Bible verses on them. Sometimes I flip through the cards to find a scripture that will hit me right where I am. Part way through this week, I flipped through the cards and saw this:

Normally when I read this scripture, I read the word “weary” and stop, because I think “That’s me, God, I’m weary. Help.” But on this particular day, in this particularly rough week, I read beyond the word “weary” to “and carry heavy burdens.” Wow, that’s what I was feeling and couldn’t put a name on – burdened. All the small things heaped in one large pile on my shoulders. Trying to be a good teacher, daughter, friend, and Christ-follower. . . while being exhausted.

Level of My Training

This quote was shared during a safety meeting at work this week:

“Under pressure, you don’t rise to the occasion, you sink to the level of your training.”

US Navy Seal

And as I went through each day, I thought about the “level of my training” when it comes to God. Because right now I’m under pressure, and the only rising I’m doing is out of bed in the morning (well, actually, it’s more of a rolling motion). But my default, my go-to, my doing-it-without-thinking response is to lean, to cling, to turn my thinking toward God’s promises of peace and rest and calm. He’s walked beside me in this place of heaviness before, and He’s led me from this place of heaviness before, so I have no doubt that He’ll do it again. . . perhaps with the aid of Thanksgiving leftovers and a Hallmark movie marathon. 

Please don’t think I’m sharing all of this because I’ve got my act together and have figured all this out, because I’m actually a hot mess. I’m sharing because my burden this week felt different, or rather my response to it was different than in the past, because the level of my training has changed.

And the fact that me sinking to the level of my training means I go to Him first is something I’m insanely thankful for.

What are you burdened with? What is the level of your training?

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 NIV