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I’m Just Not Feelin’ It

I’m tired.

I’m busy.

And sometimes people just annoy me. Yup, not everyone has that lovable quality.

And it’s hard to be love when I’m tired and busy.

It’s hard to be love when I’ve been herding children all day.

It’s hard to be love when I’m so tired I fall asleep at my desk during my lunch break (yup, it’s a real thing).

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Serving

Sometimes it’s hard to be love because we have things we need to do. Even in serving we have a to-do list needing check marks: talk to this person, send that email, schedule this meeting, prepare that lesson. The actual act of serving can overwhelm the motivation for serving: being love.

And I’m under no illusion that all acts of service are done out of love. I’ve definitely served because something had to get done and I was qualified enough to do it. Sometimes it ended well, and other times it did not.

So here are some questions I’ve asked myself recently as I reflected on an unintentionally busy season of serving:

• Am I serving in the way God wants me to?

• Is this short term or long term service?

• What does love look like in this service?

• How much of me do I give without replenishing myself? Is this selfish?

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Be In The World, But Not Of It

Sometimes it’s hard to be love because we live in a world that doesn’t exist the way it was created to be. 

We’re not supposed to love the things of this world (1 John 2:15-16 ESV; 1 John 5:19 ESV; Galatians 1:10 ESV), but we’re supposed to be love to the people in this world.

We won’t be loved or accepted by everyone (John 15:18-19 ESV), but we’re supposed to be love to everyone.

And Jesus didn’t ask that we be taken out of this world, but that we be protected while we’re in it (John 17:14-16 ESV). So if we’re supposed to be in the world, we must have a purpose.

Sometimes I really feel the weight of the juxtaposition of these seemingly contrasting existences. And I have no wise solution to offer, because I usually numb the unrest with TV binging or sleep.

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So, what do we do when being love is hard?

We pause. We breathe. We think about the love the other person needs.

And we have a moment of thanks for the opportunity to be love to that person in that moment.