How well do I hold up against adversity, including adversity from my friends?

Truth be told, I get annoyed and stubborn, and I care less about their actual point and more about their lack of listening and valuing what I have to say. Getting angry doesn’t help, either. In fact, it only clouds my view of truth and reality. Yet Job did not respond in anger. He also did not change his claim of innocence. He complained to God about his change in circumstance, but he did not bend to the accusations of his friends. He remained convinced that his suffering was not due to his sin, and he claimed God’s victory over his circumstances: “For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth” (Job 19:25 ESV).

I know I should be love to my friends, even when they accuse or disagree with me. I should listen and consider their opinions, but not immediately take their words as truth. Instead, I need trust my all-powerful God amidst adversity by:

• Holding fast to Biblical truths (Job 23:10-12)
• Recognizing the power of God (Job 23:13-16)
• Speaking truth (Job 23:17)

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How can I disagree with a friend’s argument without devaluing them as a person?

It is clear from the text that Job’s friends disagreed with him and he with his friends. Elihu went so far as to make untrue statements about Job’s character (Job 34:5-6, 9, 35-37). Each speech falsely accused Job of sinning, resulting in his suffering. But Job did not retaliate. He did tell them they were not fulfilling their intended roles as comforters (Job 16:2), but he did not insult their characters or question their faith. Instead, he looked heavenward and claimed, “I know my Redeemer lives” (Job 19:25 ESV). 

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Who do I look to for comfort and guidance?

Use a filter. When I receive advice, even from fellow Christians, what do I use to filter their words? Because Job’s friends made statements and cited truthful principles. Zophar held an incorrect belief about Job, but his principles were correct (Job chapter 11). Eliphaz stated correct beliefs about repentance (Job 22:21-30). Elihu made correct statement about God being right, being all-powerful, and seeing all things (Job 34:10, 13-15, 21). Chapters 36 and 37 are filled with appropriate praises of God. But not all their statements were truth: The main principle that Job should repent was incorrect. In fact, God confirms that the friends did not speak His words of truth. Rather, their words of truth were of their own making (Job 42:7).

God is in control. When I seek comfort and guidance, I need to filter the words I receive through God’s truth, knowing that God is in control. He will give me direction, just as he did for Job (Job 42:7-9). God corrected his friends, therefore removing it from being Job’s responsibility. God instructed Job to pray for his friends’ forgiveness by God. God confirms that his friends did not speak His works of truth.

Helpers. I also have what Job did not: Scripture and the Holy Spirit’s guidance. Since scripture is from God, it will teach me, correct me, and train me in righteousness: “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17). The Holy Spirit will guide me to truth: “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come” (John 16:13). 

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What kind of friend am I?

As we build relationships, potentially developing them into friendships, it is worth pausing and asking ourselves: Am I Job or his friends?

• How do I listen to and respond to others’ arguments? (Job 33:9)
• Do I give wise counsel? (Proverbs 10:13)
• Do I “love at all times”? (Proverbs 17:17)

And no matter the disagreements or adversity we encounter in these relationships, may our first instinct be to look heavenward and claim, “I know my Redeemer lives.”