Ever heard that statement before?
It exudes a begrudging kind of love: I acknowledge that I should love you. . . and I will. . . but I don’t need to like you. . . and I won’t be happy about it.
I’ll admit that this concept has popped into my mind quite a bit recently, especially in relation to some of my students (it’s Spring and I teach in a middle school. . . there are no feelings of guilt here). But I’ve also taken this approach with adults, and I can say that although I felt justified in the beginning, that justification eventually felt like an excuse, and I didn’t feel so warm-and-fuzzy in my heart about it.
I might not like what you do, but if I don’t like you as a person, chances are pretty good that I’ll have a hard time loving you.
And that’s no good.
Loving others despite adversity
The Bible tells us to both pursue and live in peace with others (Romans 12:18; Romans 14:19). The peace we read about in these verses comes from the Greek eirene, describing a harmonious relationship among people.
How do we achieve this eirene when we disagree or gossip or judge each other? (All anti-loving actions.)
We go to Scripture and choose to act on its truths:
- Understand that love is a foundational belief (Matthew 22:39-40)
- Choose to follow God in being “slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love” (Psalm 103:8; Psalm 145:8)
- Choose to be loving in my spoken and written responses (Proverbs 15:1; Proverbs 16:24; Matthew 12:34, 15:11)
- Choose to reason frankly and in love instead of adversity; examine our hearts before interacting (Leviticus 19:17-18)
- Choose not to wrong anyone (Romans 13:10)
- Choose to love genuinely (Romans 12:9)
I feel like I’m on the Hallmark movie train when I hear “love is a choice”, but it’s true. It requires intentionality and investment, made all the more difficult when we don’t naturally get along with someone. (And then I realize I’m the one being hard to love. . . that’s a tough pill to swallow – one that also requires some work on myself.)
The bottom line is this: love overcomes adversity. No, we won’t be best friends with everyone, but no one needs that many best friends anyway. Instead, let us model God’s love in all circumstances, relying on His strength to keep us focused and intent on being love to those we find difficult to even like. If we love authentically, then we won’t wrong people even when we disagree with them or feel negated. If we love genuinely, we won’t approach others with adversity.
Pause
Reflect
Who are you finding it difficult to love right now?
What one intentional step will you take this week to be love to this person?
Pray
For someone you have a difficult time loving.
I often find that when I pray for someone I don’t particularly care for, I develop a more compassionate heart toward them. Give it a try!
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