I’ve avoided writing this week’s post, but it’s time to share this part of my story, so here it goes.

“I will sing to the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praise to my God while I have being.” Psalm 104:33 ESV

As I shared in a previous post, someone near to my family took their own life in March 2022. And as shocked as I was by the sudden and tragic loss, I was just as shaken by my reaction.

I wasn’t surprised.

Because a few months earlier, in January 2022, I realized why adults with seemingly good lives choose to end them. The realization shook me because I understood why the people I heard about on the news who seemed happy took their own lives.

Because I was going through a dark time. Coming through a few years of loss, panic, health issues, work difficulties…without time to rest and regroup before being smacked with another trial.

I was stuck. And a person can only do that for so long before wondering how to make it stop…and realizing life would go on if they weren’t alive anymore.

Yes, I considered therapy, and shame on me for not going. Actually, I regret not going.

I prayed and prayed, and then did the only other thing I could think of.

I got up.

I got up and went to work, even though I didn’t want to.

I got up and had something to eat.

I got up and made sure my laundry was done.

I got up and cleaned the bathroom. . . occasionally.

I read my Bible . . . and cried some more. And in God’s Word I was reminded of His truth.

• His truth is powerful: “If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction.” Psalm 119:92 ESV

• I’m not living for myself, and if I’m not living for myself but for God, then I must seek to live in His purpose: “And He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for Him who for their sake died and was raised.” 2 Corinthians 5:15 ESV
• My purpose on earth is to serve Him: “So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please Him.” 2 Corinthians 5:9 ESV

If the Bible is true, and therefore God has a plan for me, then who am I to change it?

But He gave us free will, so it’s my conscious choice to live.

The timing of my life’s end is God’s call, not mine, and I’ve given Him control of my life and my timeline. If He still wants me to be on Earth, He must have a purpose for my life: To worship, and therefore to love, to serve, to share His gospel.

• “I will sing to the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praise to my God while I have being.” Psalm 104:33 ESV

• “In your steadfast love give me life, that I may keep the testimonies of your mouth.” Psalm 119:88 ESV

And I’m thankful to say that the darkness has passed for now, only due to the grace and goodness of God.

So go ahead. Get up.

How can you “get up” this week?

“I will sing to the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praise to my God while I have being.” Psalm 104:33 ESV