“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” Ecclesiastes 3:1 ESV
There’s a time to say “yes”, and a time to say “no”.
I’m prone to say “yes” rather than “no”, but I’m proud of “no” decisions I’ve made recently. Let me share them with you:
I recently woke up to an email asking if I was available for a meeting the following evening at 7:00. My first thought was, “Yes, I’m available at that time.” And it was true – there was nothing on my calendar at that time. However, the rest of that day was full, and the day before that was full, and the day after that was full. So when I weighed the impact of how using that evening to attend a meeting rather than resting against my missing the meeting, I made the decision to say “no” to the meeting. And when 7:00 rolled around and I was in my bathrobe, curled up on the couch eating dinner, I was proud of myself for saying “no”. And when I woke up the following morning feeling rested and ready to take on classes on middle schoolers, I felt thankful both for the time of rest and for the wisdom to say “no”.
The first day back to work after Christmas vacation, I received an email notifying me that a work meeting was rescheduled from Wednesday afternoon to Friday afternoon. Attendance at this meeting wasn’t mandatory, but was highly encouraged (yes, embrace the subtlety of that statement), but I made the decision to say “no”. Friday afternoons are the only time I don’t teach music lessons after school, and one of the few days I don’t stay after for other meetings, so I made the decision to take my designated “me afternoon”. In the end, the meeting was cancelled anyway 🙂
My new place of employment held a New Year’s party after work last week. Would it have been a great way to get to know my colleagues? Yes. However, I know from experience that social situations wear me out, and I still had a long day ahead of me after the party. So I didn’t go. I chose to put my energy into something else, and I didn’t regret my decision.
I’ve even said “no” to some things at church. I normally bake brownies for a local food shelter each month, but I took this month off just to take something off my to-do list. I was asked to be involved with a youth group event on a Sunday night, but I declined because the following night I have a concert rehearsal, and then the concert on Tuesday. I definitely need a day of rest before starting off the work week with a bang.
And I didn’t feel guilty about any of it. Because guilt creeps in, right?
And I didn’t give an explanation as to why I said “no”, because it wasn’t necessary in these situations.
And, guess what, the world didn’t end because I said “no”. Meetings were held, parties happened, and baked goods were made. And I was rested and had the physical and mental energy needed for the things I couldn’t say “no” to.
But my “no” was gentle, because I considered the needs of the asker, as well as how gentle my response should be.
James 3:1-12 warns us about the power of our words, and Proverbs describes the benefits of gentle words (Proverbs 15:4 ESV; Proverbs 31:26 ESV).
And so I considered:
– How will my “no” impact my life?
– How will my “yes” impact my life?
– How will my “no” impact someone else’s life?
What is one small “no” you can make this week? How might that “no” impact the rest of your week?
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” Ecclesiastes 3:1 ESV
